The One With Monday’s Haiku
I’m still blog, work, home. Tonight? Peter Pan try-outs. Crazy? Happy? YES.
View ArticleThe One With Mean Moms©
Mean Girls are Mean. And they grow up to be Mean Women. Then many of those Mean Women have bambinos and become Mean Moms, who often times raise more Mean Girls. Now that they have the internet, being...
View ArticleThe One Where I Dumped My Purse
Just click on the pic below and enjoy the fun that is in my purse. Keepin’ it real, yo.
View ArticleThe One Where I Won A Tony. Or Something.
WOW. So not only have I won an Oscar, but now the illustrious Lucille over at My Life As Lucille has bestowed upon me a Tony. Or “The Very Inspiring Blog Award.” Whatever. Anywho – had I any idea...
View ArticleThe One Where I Plead Temporary Sanity
Please forgive me for I have not blogged. It’s been 4 days since my last post, which equates to approximately 2 years, 5 months and 18 days in internet time. I also neglected to post my Friday Best...
View ArticleThe One With The Perks of Being a Brat
It’s positively silly that we don’t get Easter Baskets full of fun things when we grow up. So I’m changing it. I want fun stuff. In a basket. You should make someone buy you fun stuff too. Don’t forget...
View ArticleThe One with Santa Claus in March
I am a complete and total dork face. It’s true. I knew that unicorns and fairies existed. I knew that if I talked to my mirror long enough someone would step through and take me to the other side. I...
View ArticleThe One With CRAZY Friday Pictures. Maybe Not Crazy. Just Slightly Delusional.
This Friday’s Ten Best Pictures Ever* *That I’ve Ever Taken Or Are Of Me Or That I Altered In Some Form or Fashion 10) Mr. Schmee & His “Wife” “This picture isn’t crazy, it’s sweet.” NO. It’s...
View ArticleThe One Where I’m Not Ross
You know what’s weird? To perform CPR on your dead blog on a random Thursday, although I did find out that April 18 is the International Day for Monuments and Sites. So let’s pretend they mean web...
View ArticleThe One With CRAZY Friday Pictures. Because Sometimes The World is TOO Crazy.
This Friday’s Ten Best Pictures Ever* *That I’ve Ever Taken Or Are Of Me Or That I Altered In Some Form or Fashion 10) “They CHANGE YOUR LIFE” I hope she never sees this because I would hate for...
View ArticleThe One Where I’m Not the Best Mother Ever
“Stop throwing grenades - I’m behind those crates!” “Nice kill Mom – you have six now.” “Get on the bus!!! The zombies are right behind you!” “Come help me build this barricade. Hurry!” We had some...
View ArticleThe One Where Extreme Couponing is Extremely Stupid.
I woke up a little cranky today. I’m pretty sure that it’s because I haven’t had a Diet Dr. Pepper in three days. I looked everywhere for Diet Dr. Pepper Anonymous but they don’t have one. Which is...
View ArticleThe One That’s All Zombies. But Cute Ones.
Cute zombie things. For the entire family. Because a family without any zombie paraphernalia is just, well, is just sad. 10. You guys – look at Mike. Isn’t he the cutest thing ever? Don’t you want to...
View ArticleI Can’t Even…
Things that are not awesome: 1. Having your dress blow up to show everyone your stuff as you exit work, but mostly the night security guard who you can never make eye contact with again. 2. Getting to...
View ArticleThe One With Fat, Drunk Jerry
Jerry is huge. Ginormously huge. Hugely Ginormous. I don’t know what he eats, but I know it’s garbage. A lot of garbage. Taking into account his height and weight ratio, I’m pretty sure he would be...
View ArticleThe One Where Ralph Waldo Emerson Can Shut It.
“The age of a woman doesn’t mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.” Ralph, can I call you that Mr. Emerson? Or maybe Wally? Waldo? Really? Okay. Anyway, as I was saying Waldo,...
View ArticleThe One With Friday’s Smorgasbord
It’s the rehash of the hash. The recap of the cap. The restate of the state. The reiteration of the iteration. I know. That doesn’t make sense. What I’m trying to say is here is what I wrote about...
View ArticleThe One That’s For Chris
The reality of death came crashing into our home with a deafening roar yesterday afternoon. The man who came into the dressing room while I was putting on the Chuck E. Cheese head and said, “Hey – the...
View ArticleThe One With Guns and Calvin & Hobbes
This morning’s breakfast conversation between the three offspring (13, 12 and 8 years old) started off with a discourse from the middle child about why the youngest should stay off his mattress. That...
View ArticleThe One Where At Least We Have Socks
Below is a mostly word for word speech from Tomboy Princess on the way home from Max’s baseball game last night. I say speech and not conversation because she doesn’t ever stop long enough for me to...
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